Choices.

The time for me to move on to college is nearing. In about one year, I'll start packing up for a university.

This is one thing that I will not let my family run my life on. I want more than anything to scream that it's my life, and that they can't choose how it will be run for me. Especially not here. College is what will set me up for the rest of my life, and I'm not going to let my family get in the way because they are over controlling and want everything to go their way. I already feel the fires coming on, and my psychotic uncle is already being an asshole.

I'll start at the top. Since about a year and a half ago, I've had my sights set on the University of California at Berkeley, because I aspire to major in astrophysics and also have a liking for neurological surgery and general neurology. I live on the other side of the country, and as I previously told you, I am very sick. My uncle says my dad will not let me go there so I should just forget about it and that I'm wasting my time, and my dad has also poked on the lines of not letting me go that far, but his [my dad's] reasons are that the family that is over there will be too busy to take care of me if I get really sick or something. My unlces reasons are because of the boy that is over there that I have also already mentioned. He acts like an asshole about it. He keeps asking me why I want to go all the way to Berkeley, and I always have said that it is because that is how my career will be well set, and Berkeley is a place that I want to go to. It has the actual major of astrophysics and the study of neurology as well. It's a science school that I can get in to, is not out of my reach, and that will allow me to work at NASA one day. And he asks what the real reasons are for me wanting to go. My uncle, being the asshole that he is, believes that I'm going there solely because of a friend that I have. This friend, obviously, is Ronak. Since this is a blog, and I don't think or care if anyone, including my uncle, reads this, I'm going to say, yes, he is one of the biggest reasons I further want to go to UC Berkeley. Even still, it is not the primary reason.

Before he and I had ever started talking, I had my heart set on Berkeley because I have a passion for astronomy and physics. They both absolutely fascinate and captivate me to the fullest extent and for me to study the two for the rest of my life makes my heart skip a beat. I've wanted to go to Berkeley for almost two years now [a bit over a year and a half], whereas Ronak and I had begun talking half way through last year.

I will not let my family control this, because I have to do what I have to do to get where I want to be the right way. I will not let them prevent me from going where I want to go, and I will not my my freaking uncle decide for me. If he chooses to be upset with me once I have made my decision, so be it. That's too bad and I will be just fine not speaking to him for whatever time period it may extend over.

And just for the record, I regret ever telling my uncle that Ronak was my friend. I should have known better and known that he would be a total asshole about it, and that that wouldn't change. He acts like a jerk and thinks that I will follow in the footsteps of making the mistakes my other family members made. He should know me better, but I guess he doesn't. He believes that I don't know how to handle myself or my life, and that I have no idea as to what I am doing, and he greatly underestimates me. If he is appalled the day I disprove him, too bad. Get over yourself because I'm moving forward the way I want to.

--Vesper