What is with this constant take, and take, and take, and no give?
Who are you to think you can play this game with me? To think that you have some awe-some power that makes you so fucking great to take advantage of the person I am? You trot about whining and crying about all of your fucking problems, how people take advantage of you and how you hate it. But look at you, how are you ANY fucking different than them? A really well known quote goes as follows; 'You need to be the change you want to see in the world.'
For all of the time I have become aware of your existence, I have known you to be selfish. But when I first met you, I knew you not well enough to tell you so without seeming harsh or frank. Now, now I know you better than anyone else. I know the real you, what you are at your absolute worst, and how you are when you feel your best. I also know every single one of your in-betweens. For each, I have to unfortunately say, none of them are good, and that's what I can't understand.
Before you had hit rock bottom, and before you subconsciously rearranged your entire structure, I knew your limbo's to have been better. I knew you to be genuine, and I defended that in front of the faces I fear and respect most. I did the opposite of what I stand to believe in their presence, I disrespected them in the worst possible way, to defend you and your petty self. And what for? What was any of that screaming, fighting, psychotisism good for? Absolutely nothing. Like many of the other things I thought I knew to be true about you, it all meant nothing. It's by far one of the biggest let-downs I have ever seen in the entirety of this semi-psuedo thing called friendship.
Perhaps no rearranging had been done, maybe you never changed anything, and I have just been completely blind and naive to everything I have subconsciously known. Maybe it was my fault for ignoring the bland signs of nature, because I believe in second chances and finding the better in people. Maybe it's my own fault, for not really seeing you as you were when I had the chance.
Aside from asking you who the fuck you think you are, I'd like to lay something down, something I should have done a long ass time ago.
If this "friendship" means anything to you, you'll change from this self-absorbed bitch get-up you're so fucking sucked into. Really, get your head out of other people's asses and stop looking like and irresponsible idiot. I'm not your fucking mother, I'm done picking up this mess you've left behind, and I'm sure as hell done cleaning up after you. Learn to live the way you've made me live for more than a year now, learn to GET OVER SHIT on your own, without the help of your friends, without someone there to constantly fucking baby you, like I've had to do for the past... how long? I'm done. I can't count anymore how many times I've told you 'Well, now you know how it feels.', and how many times it's traveled into one ear and out the other.
I hope you know, I'm not fucking blind, and I'm sure as hell not stupid. I'm finished with people taking my hand for granted, and I'm done letting you feel all superior, and walk on me when you should be shaking my hand. Yeah, I know you've been through your share of shit. Open your eyes, you only know a fraction of the shit I've been going through on top of dealing with the shit you constantly throw at me, because you're too fucking busy being self-absorbed and selfish, doing nothing but looking for someone to cry your oh-so-terrible problems to.
Unless you plan on changing and fixing shit sometime soon, as of right now, this friendship is done. I'm through fixing shit I shouldn't even care about. I'm not going to do my part AND yours.
Game Over.
Now, to hit 'Send'.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Economy
So, I just spent the last half hour talking to my mom about, basically, the economy. I came to find that neither of my parents have taken a pay check in over 6 months. We're living totally on savings my parents have kept in the past years. See, my parents run a shop. They make money off of what customers buy in the shop, but with the economy being such a butt fucker, people don't have money to spend. Without consumers having money to spend, vendors will receive no money, and so, make no profit because their products are still holding a literal shelf life. With those products still being on the shelf, those vendors obviously will have no literal or metaphorical bread and butter to bring home; even more so because the prices of food products are climbing on the daily.
My mom was saying that if we make it through this, then we'll turn out alright in the end. If the government can fix the problems of unemployment, and raise salaries overall, we wouldn't have these problems. But then I took a walk around the house, and was thinking 'How the hell are we supposed to do that? We're so fucked backwards in the ass that it's nearly impossible to fix this mess with everyone still getting what they want. Mostly, to fix this, there would have to be sacrifices in the area of oil and all major imports. But, no one would comply with that. Too many people get selfish over needing gas, but, can you blame them? They need that gas to get to work, where they will make a little bit of money, to bring home a little bit of bread and butter and get by." Then, I realized that we're all just dancing in circles. It seems almost pointless.
Just yesterday, I was reading an article about how people have opportunities to become happy, but they don't seize them. One of the things the studies of the article found was that a person's happiness is greatly affected by their surrounding economy. America ranked the 16th happiest country in the world after studying patters of 52 countries from 1984 [82?] to 2008. I was surprised, I actually thought we'd be lower down the ladder. Maybe in a few years, we will be.
I find it difficult to understand how people can be happy after recognizing all events that affect their lives, and after acknowledging all of their responsibilities at this present time in life. Yes, it is easy to be happy. But, to do that right now, where we live, you'd basically have to force yourself to become ignorant of your surroundings so that you won't have to become aware of global issues that pertain to you directly.
That threat of there being a new war in Iran, it's going to kick the prices of barrels of oil through the ground [not the roof], and it's going to go so far as to end up on the other side of the world. They're estimated to reach $300 to $400 a barrel, if not more. This will make one gallon of gas more than $12, which will affect absolutely EVERYTHING. No one will commute to any place in some object that uses gas unless they are godly rich or totally desperate. Even vehicles of mass transport, like buses or trains, won't be used. Therefore, very few will get to work, very few will make money [and that will be very little money, keep in mind], the few that make a little money won't have enough to spend on essentials like food, so nothing will be bought in stores, so people who even show up to work in those stores will make little to no money and also have no money to spend, and so on and so forth, therefore completely crashing the whole economy into a rock solid wall. More circles.
You may be wondering why I'm even worrying about this, being the age I am and the state or place I'm in in life. Well, as of next year, I'm supposed to pack up and head off to college, where I'm supposed to spend $50 grand a year on tuition, and learn something over the course of anywhere between 4 years and a life time, so I can get a good job somewhere, buy a house, have a family, put food on the table, pay bills... all that jazz. Well, seeing as how fucked we currently are and how much more fucked we will be in the future, I'm probably not going to be able to accomplish anymore than 25% of what I just stated above. I don't know how my parents or I will pay for all of the college fees for that many years, and then afterwards, I really don't know how I'm going to get a job when no place can afford to hire people and pay them. Therefore, no house, no family for a long time, and in effect, not the whole shabang-feast either.
Really, I know I live in the so-called Land of Opportunity, America the Great, Home of the Brave; but, honestly, look at us. As of right now, we pretty much suck. Yes, I know I should be appreciative to be living in a place like this, and don't get me wrong, I very much am, but I don't think I'm living in a place people make out to be the golden land. Shit is fucked up.
--V
My mom was saying that if we make it through this, then we'll turn out alright in the end. If the government can fix the problems of unemployment, and raise salaries overall, we wouldn't have these problems. But then I took a walk around the house, and was thinking 'How the hell are we supposed to do that? We're so fucked backwards in the ass that it's nearly impossible to fix this mess with everyone still getting what they want. Mostly, to fix this, there would have to be sacrifices in the area of oil and all major imports. But, no one would comply with that. Too many people get selfish over needing gas, but, can you blame them? They need that gas to get to work, where they will make a little bit of money, to bring home a little bit of bread and butter and get by." Then, I realized that we're all just dancing in circles. It seems almost pointless.
Just yesterday, I was reading an article about how people have opportunities to become happy, but they don't seize them. One of the things the studies of the article found was that a person's happiness is greatly affected by their surrounding economy. America ranked the 16th happiest country in the world after studying patters of 52 countries from 1984 [82?] to 2008. I was surprised, I actually thought we'd be lower down the ladder. Maybe in a few years, we will be.
I find it difficult to understand how people can be happy after recognizing all events that affect their lives, and after acknowledging all of their responsibilities at this present time in life. Yes, it is easy to be happy. But, to do that right now, where we live, you'd basically have to force yourself to become ignorant of your surroundings so that you won't have to become aware of global issues that pertain to you directly.
That threat of there being a new war in Iran, it's going to kick the prices of barrels of oil through the ground [not the roof], and it's going to go so far as to end up on the other side of the world. They're estimated to reach $300 to $400 a barrel, if not more. This will make one gallon of gas more than $12, which will affect absolutely EVERYTHING. No one will commute to any place in some object that uses gas unless they are godly rich or totally desperate. Even vehicles of mass transport, like buses or trains, won't be used. Therefore, very few will get to work, very few will make money [and that will be very little money, keep in mind], the few that make a little money won't have enough to spend on essentials like food, so nothing will be bought in stores, so people who even show up to work in those stores will make little to no money and also have no money to spend, and so on and so forth, therefore completely crashing the whole economy into a rock solid wall. More circles.
You may be wondering why I'm even worrying about this, being the age I am and the state or place I'm in in life. Well, as of next year, I'm supposed to pack up and head off to college, where I'm supposed to spend $50 grand a year on tuition, and learn something over the course of anywhere between 4 years and a life time, so I can get a good job somewhere, buy a house, have a family, put food on the table, pay bills... all that jazz. Well, seeing as how fucked we currently are and how much more fucked we will be in the future, I'm probably not going to be able to accomplish anymore than 25% of what I just stated above. I don't know how my parents or I will pay for all of the college fees for that many years, and then afterwards, I really don't know how I'm going to get a job when no place can afford to hire people and pay them. Therefore, no house, no family for a long time, and in effect, not the whole shabang-feast either.
Really, I know I live in the so-called Land of Opportunity, America the Great, Home of the Brave; but, honestly, look at us. As of right now, we pretty much suck. Yes, I know I should be appreciative to be living in a place like this, and don't get me wrong, I very much am, but I don't think I'm living in a place people make out to be the golden land. Shit is fucked up.
--V
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