So Sick of it All.

Life lately has not been good. At all.


My best friend is on the brink of suicide, my grades are falling out completely, my illness, which anyone who reads this blog knows nothing of, is getting worse, I'm not sure if the boy I love loves me back, my father is becoming an overbearing asshole, my choral director has turned into a complete bitch, the accompanist for the chorus has been sexually inappropriate towards me, and I'm ready to pound in every single underclassmen that goes to my school, and the list just goes on.

The worst part about it is that I have no one to talk to about how I feel. Initially, that is why I made this blog. And it still is the main reason that I have it. I can dish out on here without having to worry about anything. I guess I just want someone to listen, or to just get it all out somewhere, anywhere.

I wonder to myself sometimes, what would my friends do if they lived my life? Would they have already killed themselves? Why haven't I done that yet, I wonder sometimes. It's funny. I've never once 'cut' myself or drank or done drugs to 'make my problems go away', and the problems I have in my life personally are pretty damn messed up. Yet, my friends, who have your everyday problems, feel the need to get drunk, cut and hurt themselves.

I don't want to be strong. I don't want to fortify myself against everything. I can't cry anymore, but that is all I want to do sometimes, but I just can't.

Agh, I don't have time to finish this. I have way too much work to do.

Later,
Vesper